No Hiding Place

Incompetence is difficult to disguise in a public arena and if you’re a pretty useless linesman – even one whose poorer decisions favour the home side – people tend to notice. Especially if you have ginger hair.

The scene was White Hart Lane, a Premiership game between Tottenham Hotspur and Newcastle United. On the stroke of half time, Spurs striker Dimitar Berbatov had irritated Shay Given by putting his foot up on two occasions as the Newcastle keeper was about to clear the ball. This caused tension between the two teams, which was exacerbated by the fact that the referee, Steve Bennett (known by some affectionately as ‘Dame Hilda’) took no action. As the half time whistle blew, an exasperated Given ran towards the referee and nearby a confrontation occurred between Nicky Butt and Pascal Chimbonda, who had earlier clattered into Given when he could easily have avoided him. Chimbonda slapped Butt across the face and Butt retaliated by pushing Chimbonda in the chest.

The whole incident was witnessed by our flag bearing ginger haired hero from a distance of a few metres, so even if Steve Bennett had not seen things clearly he could have been told exactly what happened. Yet Butt was yellow carded and Chimbonda, who had already scuttled off down the tunnel for a spot of extra-curricular pushing and shoving, was later awarded a yellow card in the privacy of the Spurs dressing room. All of which suggests that either our linesman was too gutless to report the incident, which should have led to a red card for the Spurs full back, or the referee was told but chose, inexplicably, not to impose the recommended punishment for that offence.

But that wasn’t all as far as the ginger standard bearer was concerned. In the 13th minute, he had kept his flag down when Malbranque crossed to Defoe and despite the fact that the Spurs player was offside, he was allowed to finish the move and give his side a lead they should have been denied. Yet curiously enough, when he took the Newcastle front line after the interval, the linesman who couldn’t see a Spurs offside was reeling them in like a North Sea trawler.

And they expect us to call them assistant referees.