Portsmouth

It seems that the panto season has come early to the south coast, and with an entirely new plot.

The story so far goes something like this. Chairman Mandaric, having come to the end of his ‘continental period’, is on the hunt for a new English (or should that be British?) manager.

He manages to get permission to approach Sheffield United’s Neil Warnock and the sporting press is poised for an appointment, until Neil announces that he turned the offer down and Milan claims that he couldn’t have done because there wasn’t one.

Then he’s rebuffed by Rangers in his efforts to talk to Alex McLeish and by this time the possibility of a return to Fratton Park by Harry Redknapp is gaining considerable momentum.

Apparently, Milan wants to speak to ‘Arry (and according to reports ‘Arry is ‘appy to speak to Milan) but Saints Chairman Rupert Lowe, who is reluctant to lose managers he has not decided to sack, has refused. This means that ‘Arry, who left Portsmouth after Milan appointed Vladimir Zajec ‘over his head’, went down the road to Southampton only to discover that, although on financial grounds they couldn’t have Jim Smith, who is an experienced football man, they absolutely couldn’t do without Sir Clive Woodward, a rugby man who evidently has become converted to football.

So having escaped a man who couldn’t speak English, ‘Arry seems eager to avoid a man who can’t talk much football, by returning to the club where after so much success, it all began to go wrong for him. And if that happens, and it goes wrong again, it will be a case of double déjà vu.

Meanwhile, according to reports Milan is anxious to speak to Northern Ireland boss Lawrie Sanchez and ex-Republic of Ireland manager Brian Kerr.

And the bookies, allegedly, have stopped taking bets on Harry Redknapp. Thereby proving that whoever is on stage, the audience will be shouting “He’s behind you!”