Respectfully Yours

Emboldened by recent successes in confronting the Arsenal with a form of football they find alien and unpalatable, Sam Allardyce has apparently taken to criticising Arsene Wenger in advance of the F.A. Cup replay at the Reebok Stadium.

Perhaps he feels lucky. The question is, does he feel lucky enough to order his troops to forsake their customary crudity and take Arsenal on at football? Bolton Wanderers having a stab at the beautiful game – now that would be a novelty.

Unfortunately, we all know it isn’t going to happen. Sam Allardyce may not be the brightest bulb on the circuit but at least he’s smart enough to realise that for his boys Bolton v Arsenal on the basis of pure football is a recipe for disaster. They could play a hundred times and never win.

So ironically on Valentine’s Day football lovers are likely to be stuck with a hefty dose of the usual Bedrock Wanderers Yabba-Dabba-Doo. And the nearest Mr Allardyce’s side will come to the beautiful game is that on this occasion, and with the utmost reluctance, they’ll have to do without Kevin Davies, who according to reports has committed more fouls than any other Premiership player, and his esteemed colleague Mr Faye, who must also be up there with the worst of them.

Enjoy.