Missing - Presumed Cross

According to reports, Roman Abramovic hasn’t been seen around Chelsea Football Club for approximately a month. Is he merely counting to a million, before returning and calmly confronting Jose Mourinho, with whom it is generally felt that relations have become decidedly frosty? Will he appear soon, anxious to demonstrate that absence makes the heart grow fonder? Or has he fallen out of love with his little hobby?

No doubt fans of the Blues are earnestly at prayer.