Sam Loses A Few Pounds

Bolton Wanderers boss Sam Allardyce, a man not known for his modesty, reckons that ‘pound for pound’ he’s the best manager in the Premiership – though whether he is referring to pounds sterling or imperial has not been made clear to us.

One thing is for sure, he was not a happy man at the Reebok on the occasion of the Lancashire derby which has been somewhat cynically referred to as Bedrock Wanderers v Roughouse Rovers, two teams with European aspirations which tend towards Torremolinos and Ibiza rather than the Camp Nou or the Bernabeu.

It was, as most people had expected from the two clubs who top the News of the World Foul Play League, a predominantly gritty affair. There were, from time to time, flashes of skill from the likes of Anelka and McCarthy, but mostly it was grit.

Bolton, as is their custom, ran out to the music from the soundtrack of the film ‘633 Squadron’ – an apt touch from a side that relies so heavily on the aerial bombardment – and Blackburn’s kick-off tactic was to find touch, rugby style, deep in their opponent’s half. Thus, within the first few minutes, the pattern had been established and the crowd settled down for a spot of real Sunday league football, the quality of which was indicated by the number of empty seats at the Reebok.

In the first half, things went markedly better for Blackburn and Big Sam was so disconsolate that when the camera focussed on him, he completely forgot to torment his chewing gum or even talk into his scarf. A two goal lead with penalties from McCarthy after the interval only made things worse and even a consolation from Anelka failed to prevent Allardyce looking, by full time, several pounds lighter in the quality stakes.

Something which will no doubt come as a great relief to inferior managers such as Sir Alex Ferguson and Arsene Wenger.