Poundstretcher

Lately, the man who immodestly declared himself to be, pound for pound, the best manager in the Premiership seems to have lost his magic touch. Sam Allardyce watched helpless as his team of Bolton artisans was torn to pieces by a rampant Manchester United at Old Trafford and in the end he, and they, should be grateful that the score was pegged to 4-1.

Sir Alex’s side could have been ahead as early as the 5th minute, when J S Park missed from a couple of yards after Giggs’ header had been parried and after they had lost captain Gary Neville to a heavy challenge from Gary Speed, who seems to be rivalling Kevin Davies in the terminator stakes, it seemed briefly that it might not be United’s day.

Then the inspirational Ronaldo broke to the bye-line and pulled the ball back for Park to score and three minutes later the Portuguese surged the whole length of the pitch and put Rooney in for a delicate finish. By the 24th minute it was 3-0 as Ronaldo’s shot was parried and Park forced the ball home.

Three minutes later Pedersen, who had been looking increasingly like a portly veteran seeking to rekindle his glory days in the Vauxhall Conference, trundled off and was replaced by Diouf, the striker with the collagen assisted lips, leading cynics to conclude that it was a case of ‘if you can’t beat them, spit on them’.

Somehow Bolton survived until half-time and somehow misses from Giggs, Ronaldo and Park enabled them to restrict United’s scoring to four, courtesy of Rooney’s powerful finish from Smith’s clever through ball. And in the 77th minute the manager who likes to think he’s the best in the Premiership played his masterstroke, pulling off Campo and unleashing the gnome, otherwise known as David Thompson. It must have brought them luck, because the gentlest of nudges by Vidic on Faye prompted referee Alan Wiley to award a generous penalty, giving Gary Speed the opportunity to register a consolation goal – though it did nothing to mask a pallid display by the visitors in a very one-sided game.