Smoke and Mirrors

In view of the fact that England’s abject performance against little Andorra offered very little for the press and public to get excited about, it is entirely understandable that attention has subsequently been focused upon other matters.

To begin with, there is the Great Lampard Mystery. Apparently, he suffered a hairline fracture of the wrist after coming into contact with a Wayne Rooney shot during training, as a result of which he was fitted with a protective cast, which evidently allowed him to take part in training. So when his name did not appear on the team sheet, was he dropped or was he injured?

What is certain is that he did not play and the whole of England should be grateful for that because he has been pretty dismal lately and his absence made it possible for Steven Gerrard to be restored to central midfield, where he is a world class player and on this occasion man of the match and scorer of two vital goals. As for the underlying reasons, the official England story is that Lampard was not selected because he is injured – yet the cast which permitted him to train would also have permitted him to play, as most people believe he will in Chelsea’s next game.

Curious, whichever way you look at it. If he was injured, why did he train immediately before the game? And why did stories circulate suggesting that in a fit of pique Lumpy spat the dummy and demanded to be flown home? On the other hand if he was dropped, why didn’t McClaren say so – especially as it would have refuted claims that he doesn’t have the ‘bottle’ to leave out any of the big name players?

And why did the England manager fuel speculation about his future by storming out of the post-match press conference, ‘Staunton style’, with such indecent haste? Unless, that is, he had something he particularly wanted to hide.