Another Fine Mess, Mourinho

On Sunday 22nd April 2007 Chelsea drew 0-0 with Newcastle United at St James’ Park. In other words, they failed to improve their goal difference at all and they failed to capitalise on a golden opportunity to make up ground on rivals Manchester United and for the first time in a long time put the destination of this season’s Premiership title in their own hands. What’s more, no-one would have been the slightest bit surprised when their manager appeared at a post-match interview and was at great pains to point out that it was not Chelsea’s fault – forgetting, no doubt, to take into account the fact that on the day they were diabolical.

Apparently, it was the officials who were to blame. Not just Mark Halsey and his merry men, but all officials. Puzzled? Let the Special One explain, as only he can. Evidently it’s all the fault of “the special rules we have to face” – ‘we’ meaning Chelsea and Chelsea alone. In other words, he is expounding a conspiracy theory whereby “It is not possible to have a penalty against Manchester United and it is not possible to have a penalty in favour of Chelsea.”

There are at least two problems with Mourinho’s hastily cobbled together theory. One is that penalties have been awarded against Sir Alex Ferguson’s team, even at Old Trafford, and the fact that Frank Lampard has often been seen lumbering up to take a spot kick for the Blues suggests that they have not been ignored, just as the number of times opposing teams (Arsenal for instance) have been denied penalties against Chelsea indicates that if there has been any favouritism, Mourinho’s men have invariably been the beneficiaries. The other problem is that Mourinho cannot reasonably imply wholesale bias towards United and against Chelsea while still insisting “I am not saying the referees are not honest”. Like most of what he says, it sounds good as long as you don’t think about it too hard.

But that’s not all. In the same interview, the Special One is quoted as saying “I have the right to speak. I think nobody can punish me because I speak the truth”. If you have the impression you’ve heard those words before, you aren’t far wrong. Ironically, they are uncannily reminiscent of statements attributed this season to Arsene Wenger – and you cannot find two more diverse characters than Mourinho and the Arsenal boss.

The interesting thing is that when Mr Wenger insisted that he spoke the truth and he was perfectly entitled to do so, the F.A. in its infinite wisdom reserved the right to boost their coffers by clobbering him to the tune of several thousand pounds. If that is how they treat an Arsenal manager when he’s right, it will be absolutely fascinating to see what they consider to be reasonable sanctions against a Chelsea manager who is wrong.

So unless, of course, there is a conspiracy in his favour, it’s clearly a case of another fine mess you’ve got yourself into, Jose. ‘Fine’ being the operative word!