Lights. Action. Drogba

Didier Drogba is a big strong lad, not the sort you’d rush to pick a fight with. So what does that make West Brom’s Jonathan Greening?

Some kind of Superman apparently (though to be fair, he doesn’t look it) because in the Premiership clash at The Hawthorns, the slightest contact between the two of them caused Drogba to twist dramatically in the air as though he’d been hit by an articulated lorry, then fall to the ground and immediately roll over several times in what some might construe as agony.

Except that when you’re really badly hurt you don’t roll over and over like a pencil on its way down a hill. And you certainly don’t jump up moments later, miraculously cured, having ascertained that the referee has declined to take further action against your opponent.

It may come as a bit of a disappointment to Jonathan Greening to learn that he has not been invested with supernatural powers, but at least he survived an encounter with a star from what many regard as the Chelsea Academy of Dramatic Art without getting sent off.