'If' for England

The Football Association have not found it easy to announce a successor to Sven Goran Eriksson and at times they could be forgiven for thinking that, far from actually choosing an English candidate, they will have one thrust upon them.

In all the emotional clamour and claptrap, one most important point seems to have been obscured – what really counts is that they are able to recruit the best man for the job, irrespective of his passport.

A few days ago they thought they had succeeded, as news broke that the job had been offered to ‘Big Phil Scolari’, who as a former World Cup winner as manager of Brazil seemed to have everything except the ability to speak fluent English. But it transpired that ‘Big Phil’ had another problem – he evidently couldn’t cope with the idea of a pack of British journalists doing a domiciliary visit (an intrusion which Sven, to his credit, has for some time managed to endure with every appearance of courtesy).

According to reports, this development ensures that the focus is back on the local lads, with Middlesbrough’s Steve McClaren and Bolton’s Sam Allardyce evidently the bookies’ favourites – news which has been greeted with delight by the likes of Howard Wilkinson, football’s very own Victor Meldrew.

It’s difficult to listen to Howard with rapt attention, or to imagine how generations of players and coaches somehow found the strength to cope with his uncompromising views and the monumental dreariness with which they were delivered. However, the gist of it seems to be that the F.A. must at all costs appoint an English manager – which is absolutely fine if the best possible candidate happens to be English.

If.