Sven's Magical Mystery Tour

With just days to go before the World Cup finals in Germany, it all seems to be going really well for England manager Sven Goran Eriksson.

To begin with, he’s got everyone guessing. After selecting a load of midfield players, he’s evidently mulling over the idea of playing Liverpool’s Jamie Carragher as – you’ve got it - a holding midfield player, having no doubt taken into account the fact that Jamie himself doesn’t think he’s very effective in the role, whereas Michael Carrick probably would be.

And as Carragher moves forward, so Owen Hargreaves (whose inclusion in the squad is as much a mystery as Emile Heskey’s used to be) is shunted back, having been reinvented as a deputy for Gary Neville.

Perhaps Carragher’s inclusion as a sort of Scouse version of Claude Makele is part of a cunning plan to resolve the great midfield dilemma of how to get both Gerrard and Lampard playing to capacity at the same time. If that’s the case, it comes not a moment too soon. The Italians have suggested (via their goalkeeper) that if they had them they would consider themselves invincible. Given the reputations of these two, it is an understandable view. Gerrard is a massive presence who can do absolutely everything when he is playing for Liverpool, but unfortunately hardly any of it when he puts on an England shirt. And as for Lampard, he is a magnificent professional who has managed somehow to delude certain people into thinking that he’s the second best player in the whole world rather than the footballing reincarnation of Ray Wilkins.

So it could be some species of midfield diamond, with Carragher at the back, Beckham and Lampard at the creative heart of it and Gerrard providing the pace and fire power up front. And in view of the way the striking situation looks, England are going to need all the pace and fire power that they can get. Heaven and earth are being moved to accommodate Rooney’s foot, but many sound judges believe that he will play at best only a bit part in the World Cup finals, assuming England are able to reach the later stages. Meanwhile, prayers are being said for Michael Owen’s fitness and a lot of intellectually challenged so-called pundits are simply chanting the familiar refrain about the fact that Theo Walcott hasn’t played in the Premiership for Arsenal – presumably forgetting that there are older more famous England frontmen who might have been overlooked by Arsene Wenger if they were Arsenal players.

Of course, we have to keep the faith, to have confidence that Sven knows what he’s doing – even if hardly anyone else does. It could be all going according to plan – whatever the plan is. Whichever way you look at it, it’s a bit of a mystery. Unfortunately, some people are of the opinion that in this year’s World Cup, it could end up as a murder mystery.