Anelka a Wanderer

FIFA President Sepp Blatter is at it again. On the eve of the 2006 World Cup finals, he has apparently drawn the attention of referees to “a new devil” which has crept into the game and issued instructions that it must be dealt with most severely.

What, you may ask, is this ‘new devil’? The answer is ‘elbowing’ and in the interests of the beautiful game and its most skilful players, he wants an end put to it. Good on you, Sepp, but where exactly have you been these last few decades? Have you heard that Lord Lucan has scarpered, and that Elvis is no longer with us? Has news of the Common Market reached you? Did you know that the Berlin Wall has come down? Have you ever seen a Euro?

Not for the first time, the outpourings of President Sepp are a bit disturbing. Someone should tell him that elbowing is a matter of serious concern, not least because it has been in the game for a very long time. But would he remember?

The way things are shaping, it’s just a matter of time before the cynics declare that the only person who deserves to get the elbow is Sepp himself.