Kia Aura

Right now, if you’re a West Ham fan, all you want to think about is this. Your club has signed 22 year old Argentinian World Cup stars Carlos Tevez and Javier Mascherano. The contracts are for four years and, according to reports, they “insist they are not using West Ham as a way of earning a big money move at the end of the season”. And what’s more, manager Alan Pardew is convinced that these new acquisitions will take the Hammers “to a new level”.

So that’s all right then. Forget about the rumours that they are merely being temporarily parked at West Ham. Disregard all that media speculation about get-out clauses in the contracts that mean they could be spirited away at almost any time. And whatever you do, don’t give all that stuff about MSI and Iranian tycoon Kia Joorabchian another thought – even if he would profit from their sale or is contemplating a takeover bid for the club.

Just relax and enjoy the ride.