A Flicker of Lamplight

Here’s a rather comforting thought for any Premiership player who has been taking a bit of flak lately. All you really need to get the critics off your back is a couple of good chances. Preferably a penalty that you can blast straight down the middle (thereby getting rid of most of your inhibitions at a stroke) and a nice ball you can roll in from the edge of the box. Result - two goals. Plus fringe benefits. They make you man of the match. They announce that you’re brave, you’re back, your nightmare is over and those dreadful critics (what do they know?) have been silenced. Not that you had anything to prove anyway.

All of which demonstrates the truth of the old adage. Hassle is temporary, dullness is permanent.

Of course it helps a great deal if your name is Frank Lampard.