I Kia

These days, if you have a bob or two, you can go shopping for players, and for clubs, in a whole new way. It sounds brilliant, at first glance. With all that investment, the sky’s the limit – but for whom?

Take West Ham United, for instance. Or perhaps that should that read ‘Take Over West Ham United’. Everything was going absolutely swimmingly. Alan Pardew, once the subject of so much scepticism, got the club back into the Premiership and built such a good team that they shot up the table and ended up contributing to what was by common consent one of the greatest F.A. Cup finals of all time. The once hostile fan base loved him, recognising that he was an honest as well as a capable man who had the utmost respect for the history and integrity of the club.

Then something rather unusual happened. The club was offered two Argentinian superstars in circumstances that were not fully understood. On the face of it, it seemed like unimaginable good fortune – even if they weren’t fully match sharp and couldn’t understand the local lingo. And on top of that, there were rumours of a takeover and massive investment, with 35 year old Kia Joorabchian reputed to be at the front of the queue.

Curiously enough, all this good news does not seem to have had a positive effect upon results. The team is currently languishing in 15th position in the Premiership, having played 6, won 1, drawn two and lost 3. Some reports suggest that the manager is busy learning Spanish; others believe he is undergoing a crash course in diplomacy.

Or should that be ‘clash course’?