Pas du tout

As a player, Glenn Hoddle played 53 times for England and according to French legend Michel Platini, that was absolutely laughable. “If he’d been French, he’d have won 100 caps,” Platini insisted.

For ‘Hoddle’, read ‘Beckham’.

And as for managers, we can’t help but wonder how many times Steve McClaren would have managed France.

The answer, we respectfully suggest, is ‘zero’ or, as the French like to say: ‘Pas du tout’ (Not at all).