Yellow

In the dim and distant days of the past it was the so-called ‘magic sponge’, routinely administered to players suffering from any form of injury less serious than an obvious fracture or heart failure. Then science took a hand as clouds of the even more magical P R Spray were liberally applied after a cursory examination, with apparently remarkable results.

But these days, for the likes of Tottenham’s Didier Zokora, after a foul and a dramatic sequence of fib rolls, nothing quite hits the spot like the sight of the referee pointing a card in the direction of his opponent.

Then, miraculously, up he pops. Bad as new.