Grindstone Cowboys

For fans not fortunate enough to have a ticket for The Emirates Stadium, there was the next best thing –Arsenal v Spurs on Sky Prem Plus, and a chance to be entertained by two of the most prominent members of the Arsenal Old Boys Formation Knocking Team.

It all started with George Graham, standing to attention, immaculate as ever and not a grey hair to be seen. Prompted gently about his recent criticisms of the club he served as both player and manager, he declared “How can you criticise Arsene Wenger?” and then proceeded to do just that.

Meanwhile, up on the gantry, dreary Brian Marwood was preparing for another extraordinary performance predicting gloom and doom for the club which, given his limited ability, he was extremely fortunate to represent. Amidst phrases like “a very fragile back four” and numerous unwarranted compliments aimed at a dismal Spurs side, it was hard to believe that he was watching a North London derby in which Arsenal annihilated the old enemy from start to finish.

The entertainment ended with George Graham, who obviously hadn’t had the opportunity to go into the home dressing and inspect the Arsenal players’ bruises, insisting that Spurs weren’t competitive and didn’t make enough physical challenges. Disregarding the number of occasions Assou-Ekotto kicked Ljungberg, Eboue having his Achilles tendon raked by Malbranque and being hammered by Keane, plus an assortment of unsavoury challenges by Tainio, Chimbonda, Zokora, Jenas and Defoe, he was absolutely right.

Kicking Arsenal. Trust George to come up with something new, exciting and sophisticated.