The Order of the Whistle

In his days as a prominent and entertaining pundit (if at times an indiscreet one) Rodney Marsh always maintained that the Premier League was not in fact one league, but could clearly be divided into three (maybe even four) separate tiers.

It is perhaps not surprising that much the same can be said of the referees chosen to officiate at this exalted level – and as with the clubs, there are very few indeed of outstanding quality.

We have just two referees who should always be considered to take charge of crucial or important fixtures. Graham Poll will never be permitted to forget his arithmetical shortcomings in the 2006 World Cup finals or the fact that he has displeased the Special One by not refereeing a Chelsea game in the approved manner, but for all his narcissistic tendencies he is far and away the best we have. And close by is Alan Wiley, fair and unflappable if a little lacking in explosive pace – and arguably the most improved referee over the past 18 months.

Next in line are Steve Bennett and Rob Styles, both capable of working at the highest level, and below them a large group who are adequate in the Premiership, though in various ways leaving much to be desired – Dermot Gallagher, refereeing’s answer to Colonel Sherman Potter of ‘MASH’ fame, experienced if at times a little too tolerant; Mike Riley, Mr Bean with a touch of Cyrano de Bergerac, competent but weak; Mark Halsey with his bustling agricultural gait and a trio of promising officials who could go far – Mark Clattenburg, Howard Webb and Chris Foy.

And then there is the relegation zone. The anonymous Peter Walton and Barry Knight. Dismal Andy D’Urso and the aptly named Phil Dowd. And finally the dregs – the appalling twosome Mike Dean and Uriah Rennie, whose arrogance belies their incompetence, a pair who really do seem to be making it up as they go along.