Knightmare

In the words of psychiatrist Dr Abbott in that memorable episode of Fawlty Towers, “There’s enough material here for an entire conference.”

Balding premiership referee Barry Knight blundered through a dour and dispiriting encounter between Blackburn Rovers and Birmingham City, giving a performance which in many respects plumbed the very depths of ineptitude.

He awarded corners that clearly were not corners. He gave free kicks which were not free kicks, yet stubbornly failed to acknowledge incidents that were crying out for sanction. He assumed the appearance of authority by insisting that free kicks were taken from the right place, then naively turned his back as he trotted away, allowing the player to smuggle the ball forward again like a naughty schoolboy. And early in the second half he surpassed himself by awarding Blackburn the softest of penalties for an entirely fictitious offence which Matthew Upson was alleged to have committed on the far from angelic Paul Dickov.

The more cynical observer might conclude that this was a game so dire that it got the referee it deserved. On that basis, the standard of refereeing in the lower leagues wouldn’t bear thinking about.