Marks and Sparks

Don’t you just love picking up the papers after a big match, checking out the marks out of ten (why is it always ‘out of ten’?) awarded to the players and wondering whether the journalist in question was actually at the game.

To begin with, there is a sort of unwritten rule that the generosity of the awards is dictated by the result. A good win ensures that everyone gets high marks, a bad defeat means poor marks all round, with appropriate (and sometimes inappropriate) rankings for any game in between.

Take the News of the World for instance. Naturally, all the England players were rated highly for their contribution to the memorable victory against Argentina – but some of the individual decisions by reporter David Harrison were surprising to say the least.

No problem with a 9 for Paul Robinson’s outstanding display in goal, or Wayne Rooney’s terrific contribution all over the place. But considerable difficulty in accepting that, at just one mark less, we are invited to consider the performances of Luke Young, Rio Ferdinand, John Terry and Frank Lampard to be almost as good.

When you read the comments that accompany these over-generous 8s, it becomes even more puzzling. Luke Young’s tackling “can be reckless and he earned himself a yellow card for a wild lunge”. Rio “Still looks out of sorts with lapses of concentration and misjudgement becoming a worry. He failed to cut out the cross for Crespo’s opening goal and was often troubled by Argies movement. Will have to sharpen up his game considerably.” John Terry “was also caused problems by the mobility of the opponents.” Lampard gave “a more subdued performance”, his “passing wasn’t always accurate”, he “gave the ball away far too often” and “blasted a couple of shots off target.”

How can anyone get that much wrong and earn 8 out of 10? How can Robinson and Rooney be so much better and only be awarded 9? How can David Beckham’s committed, controlled and technically accomplished performance, including a tremendous glancing header to set up Wayne Rooney’s goal, merit only an 8, while Steven Gerrard is apparently worth 9 for a moderate display whose highlights were a terrific first half shot and a wonderful cross for Owen’s equalizer?

Incidentally, Owen’s “quiet display” rated 9 – no doubt because he scored two. And that’s a whole lot more than David Harrison’s marking merits.