Tall Story

Peter Crouch is over 6 feet 7 inches tall and works really hard at his game – but that doesn’t make him an international. His height enables him to pose problems in the air for defenders and helps him to be a good target man – but that doesn’t make him an international. For one so tall, he has impressive control, holds the ball up well and brings others into play effectively – but those attributes aren’t enough to make him an international.

So what is it exactly that makes Peter Crouch an international? Is it the fact that since he started as a Spurs trainee, his moves to QPR, Portsmouth, Aston Villa, Southampton and Liverpool have attracted transfer fees which altogether exceed £15 million? Is it his slender, beanpole frame? Is it his lack of genuine pace, or power, or aggression, or a ruthless streak?

Or is his unique selling point simply this – he’s the striker who tends not to score goals!

Over to you, Sven.