Candlesticks to You, John

Funny things laws, rules and regulations. Used wisely, they can strengthen a society, but taken to extremes they can threaten and even destroy it.

We’ve all seen football matches which have been tarnished by the grim determination of the more intransigent referees to apply the laws rigorously at all costs – sometimes even within minutes of kick-off. And sadly, the immature tendency to insist upon the application of the letter of the law at the expense of the spirit of the law is not confined to the playing surface, as we have unfortunately witnessed recently.

On Tuesday 16th May 2006, Newcastle United Chairman Freddy Shepherd was pleased to confirm the appointment of a delighted Glenn Roeder as manager of the club on a two year contract. Since Glenn does not currently possess the UEFA Pro Licence, which is a prerequisite of managing a club at this level, Newcastle’s announcement was made possible only by special dispensation from the Premiership – or to be precise, by the Premiership’s generous and civilised application of the spirit of the law. And in view of the fact that Glenn was deprived of the opportunity to gain this qualification by a serious and life-threatening neurological condition which required urgent surgical treatment, it is unlikely that reasonable people will find anything to object to in the way things have turned out.

That, of course, leaves the unreasonable people. The people who are interested only in the letter of the law. People who don’t understand the concept of ‘extenuating circumstances’ and probably can’t even spell it.

Remarkably, it appears that one of those people is John Barnwell, Chief Executive of the League Managers’ Association – effectively, the managers’ union. It seems that Barnwell is “absolutely furious” that Newcastle have been permitted to choose the manager they want because “The UEFA Pro Licence stops those people who make the appointments from appointing the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker.”

You can tell a lot about a man by the clichés he keeps. The truth is that there aren’t many clubs at any level of the game who are plumping for candlestick makers these days. Possibly this has something to do with the shortage of candlestick makers. Or even candles. As for bakers and butchers, they could hardly do better than consulting Barnwell. A man with half-baked ideas whose efforts to carve up Glenn Roeder’s future as Newcastle manager have been given the chop. And rightly so.