Phil Neville – You’re Having a Laugh!

It appears that Phil Neville, one half of the famous Manchester United version of the Chuckle Brothers, is unable to shake off his carefully cultivated and deep seated hatred of Arsenal - despite the fact that these days he is obliged to ply his trade in the less fashionable surroundings of Everton.

So following the recent clash at Highbury, and in particular Neville’s own private clash with Robert Pires, which resulted in the Frenchman limping off and being substituted, Phil evidently thought it a rather good idea to take the opportunity to brand Arsenal players in general and Pires in particular as hypocrites and con merchants, and to have a pop at Arsene Wenger for good measure.

Envy, it seems, can do strange things to a man’s judgement – because anyone not afflicted by defective eyesight or blind loyalty to Everton or Manchester United is likely to regard Neville’s challenge as malicious both in intent and execution. It was in all senses of the term, a real ‘red mist’ job. For a moment, Neville must have been transported back to last season’s battle at Old Trafford, when intimidation and extreme aggression offered United their only chance of victory against Arsenal’s superior football ability. It was a ruthless strategy which cast both Nevilles in leading roles, but while it devastated Arsenal’s season, it sadly did absolutely nothing to enhance United’s proud traditions.

Phil Neville has made a very good living from football; better, some might argue, than his ability warrants. He is, in many respects, by the standards of the premiership, something of a journeyman and anyone who doubts this should consider why he is no longer appearing in midfield for Manchester United, whereas Alan Smith is. In a confrontation with Robert Pires, there is clearly a massive difference in class – an acknowledged artist bracketed with a man who many regard as more closely resembling a painter and decorator. We should therefore anticipate only one winner – provided such confrontation takes place within the laws of the game.

At Highbury, it didn’t, but that doesn’t prevent Phil implying that if Pires is any kind of artist at all, he’s a con artist – despite the fact that the Frenchman misses not only the rest of that game but the next one too. And to ‘strengthen’ his argument, he cites Robin Van Persie’s challenge in the recent Champions’ League game.

No doubt the young Polish referee who impulsively red carded Van Persie will be glad to have received some support for his decision